life-gets-bad-sometimes:

qonorrhea:

text posts are like children
you delete the ones that dont succeed

what

(via xinerasablexsinx)

Hypocrisy

(via onlylolgifs)

dangerhamster:

five-hundred:

And this is why you always reblog RDJ

THEY DON’T TEACH FRENCH IN JAIL

(via akimihikari)

thejunglenook:

ballpointpun:

Somewhere a rocket scientist brain surgeon physicist with a knack for economics who wears Velcro shoes is having a stress breakdown.

When I was a professional ballroom dance instructor, one of my coworkers was having a tough time teaching a step to her student. As he gets more frustrated she tells him “it’s ok- you’ll get it- this isn’t rocket science.”
There is an awkward pause as her student stares back at her."No" he agrees, "this isn’t rocket science. That I can do. This is some sadistic step designed specifically to torture rocket scientists.”
And that’s how we found out he worked for NASA.

thejunglenook:

ballpointpun:

Somewhere a rocket scientist brain surgeon physicist with a knack for economics who wears Velcro shoes is having a stress breakdown.

When I was a professional ballroom dance instructor, one of my coworkers was having a tough time teaching a step to her student. As he gets more frustrated she tells him “it’s ok- you’ll get it- this isn’t rocket science.”

There is an awkward pause as her student stares back at her.
"No" he agrees, "this isn’t rocket science. That I can do. This is some sadistic step designed specifically to torture rocket scientists.”

And that’s how we found out he worked for NASA.

(via xinerasablexsinx)

hobbit-foots:

copperbeard:

splicerthedicer:

nowyoukno:

Now You Know the correct way to eat spaghetti is with only a fork. (Source)

Who the fuck eats spaghetti with a spoon?????

amateurs, children, and people with bad table manners

now you kno

hobbit-foots:

copperbeard:

splicerthedicer:

nowyoukno:

Now You Know the correct way to eat spaghetti is with only a fork. (Source)

Who the fuck eats spaghetti with a spoon?????

amateurs, children, and people with bad table manners

now you kno

(via xinerasablexsinx)

lpsgeorgejimmy:

Happy April fools everyone

lpsgeorgejimmy:

Happy April fools everyone

(via egoorcs)

Apparently it’s a thing to crochet sweaters for turtles

kyos-cock:

So I accidentally discovered this picture while i was looking for cute things to crochet and THERE ARE ENTIRE BLOGS DEDICATED TO TURTLE COZIES.

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THEY LOOK SO CUTE THEY HAVE NORMAL ONES

THEY HAVE ONES THAT LOOK LIKE FUCKING BOWSER

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THEY HAVE ONES SHAPED LIKE ANIMALSimage

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THEY HAVE ENTIRE BLOGS DEDICATED TO MAKING YOUR TURTLES LOOK LIKE FOOD

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THE PUMPKIN IS SO CUTE BUT THIS GEM IS MY PERSONAL FAVORITE:

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BUT HOW DO YOU CHOOSE A FAVORITE WHEN THEY’RE ALL SO CUTE

image

(via bonnienoise)

deductionhunters:

theskeletonsareafterme:

zelamish:

wunderbrot:

the buugeng is a type of s-staff.
to the best of my knowledge, it is used to engage in geometric visual warfare

Accurate.

GEOMETRIC VISUAL WARFARE.

No but can you imagine how distracting and disconcerting it’d be to go up against someone with a weapon like that
You wouldn’t know where the fuck to look and you’d only figure out which part to focus on when it’s buried in your gut

deductionhunters:

theskeletonsareafterme:

zelamish:

wunderbrot:

the buugeng is a type of s-staff.

to the best of my knowledge, it is used to engage in geometric visual warfare

Accurate.

GEOMETRIC VISUAL WARFARE.

No but can you imagine how distracting and disconcerting it’d be to go up against someone with a weapon like that

You wouldn’t know where the fuck to look and you’d only figure out which part to focus on when it’s buried in your gut

(via norma-bara)

worsedreams:

whatsacanada:

A popular Christian band called nuns n roses

I think you mean nuns n moses 

(via bonnienoise)

kuueater:

go into your garage, take that dirty ass rake that you think you remember using to fend off a stray animal once, and cook your fucking food on it, you piece of shit pleb. eat off the fuckin thing while you’re at it. rake = giant fork. LIFE HACK..

kuueater:

go into your garage, take that dirty ass rake that you think you remember using to fend off a stray animal once, and cook your fucking food on it, you piece of shit pleb. eat off the fuckin thing while you’re at it. rake = giant fork. LIFE HACK..

(via vvanilla-ice)

gayturians:

lyraffect:

gayturians:

once when i was little, i claimed it was a teacher’s work day so i wouldn’t have to go to school and mom’s not an idiot so of course it didn’t work, but when we got to the school, we found it was a teacher’s work day and that made me think i had super powers so i started trying to kill classmates with my mind to confirm the theory

You thought you had super powers so you immediately attempted to murder everyone

go big or go home

(via mbeefluttergut)

jumpingjaverts:

jumpingjaverts:

jumpingjaverts:

jumpingjaverts:

whats the difference between outlaws and inlaws

outlaws are wanted

come on reblog this my grandma told me this joke and was convinced she was going to be famous on tumblr for it

every time my mom and grandma get into an argument my grandma says “excuse me pamela i am famous on the tumbler”

(via mbeefluttergut)